clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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