i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
