I think I am morally bankrupt
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I deserve this hangover.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
