This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
