he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
