We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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