her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
