So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
