the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
