and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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