I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
