Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You took a bar mat shot.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
