Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
