I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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