But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
