It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
