it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
