At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
