I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
