What a fucking waste of an outfit
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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