The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
