i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
that is very illegal...i love you.
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