I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
