Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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