I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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