Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Randomize
