i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
