When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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