walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
