I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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