Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
