Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
