Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
