My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
