my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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