So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
