I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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