I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
The ass gains better be worth it
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