One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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