Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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