He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
