Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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