So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize