he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
