I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
