She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
