We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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