don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
