Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Randomize
