Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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