operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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