He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Houston, we have a blender
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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