So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
