it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize
