K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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