I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize