Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
