I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
