Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
