a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
