the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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