i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just puked most of my soul out..
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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