Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
