belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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