He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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