Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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