I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
