And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
its liver damage thursday
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
