ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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