So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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