what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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