Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
